Long wordy post

The truth is, I'm lazy to post pictures; copying and pasting the link codes from photobucket. And I cant seem to find the blogger function on it too. GAHHHHH. So frustrating.

I dont know where to start. So many things happened. Certainly, this blog lack of real updates. And pretty pretty pictures. Should I change blog? So that I can post pictures? Hmmm...

Let's start from way before SKM. Cos that is where I didnt really update. My schedule was so packed. Work, gym, training. All I wanted to do then was a very good sleep. Weekends were spent with bf.

SKM was all planned out pretty well. But I'm sure, no, we all were sure that we could have finish the routine way before hand - if Andra POP earlier. But just before Andra POP-ed, something had to happen. I was all geared up, anticipating for that last 3 trainings cos I know it'll definitely be a big change with his presence.

Accidents happened. A three degree sprain. I thought it was just a sprain, and I would be better by the next training. But I had to be on crutches. I couldnt walk, couldnt even stand on 2 legs. It only got better just recently. Anyway, crutches are nuisance. Sorry shane. They hurt my armpit and my arms felt like they went hardcore gym just after 2 days' use.

the nurses wanted my foot to be flat on the board for xray, but this is the furthest I could go.

- my toes become fat after a walk.

Thank you Xinyi, Shaun for picking me to and fro the hospital in the wee hours, and Justin and Shane for accompanying me to the sinseh. Justin for coming all the way to my house at bedok from BOONLAY, and going to Pasir Ris. And also piggyback me from the carpark to the sinseh, not forgetting the long flight of steps! Shane for lending me your crutches, bringing them to the sinseh for me. I bet everybody stared at you when you board the bus. :/

Andra and I had to go back early in the morning to keep the mats.. and it made me felt ultra bad that I could only sit and watch.

On Saturday, it was a hard decision. I was thinking of it for the pass 3 days. Thinking of whether should I withraw from the team, how am I supposed to phrase it to Andra, can i really get well by SKM, can I do all the stunts that was put out for me etc etc. I finally decided to tell Andra when we were having breakfast. I tried to sound as cool as possible, and yeap, he too was already thinking about it looking at the state that I was at.
It was later decided that I will be withdrawn and gary will be substituted. It wasnt a good feeling. Not because I've been pulled out, but because of many other things. Why must I be hurt at this time? Why cant I recover now? How will the team do? How will the routine turnout like? Why cant i just stand up and walk? Why must I fall? How are the other new midbases gonna cope? Why did I had this bad sprained? Why must I suffer all this? Why How Why.....? It was ribbon-making. But I didnt have mood to make any when I'm the hands on kinda person. I just wanted to sleep. I want to sleep it off. I couldnt control my emotions, and all the whys are running through my head. I literally cried all the whys and hows out.
Thank you super for comforting me. Three things that he said that stopped the weeping me.
1. How will the team feel when they see you in this state? Their morale will be pulled down right?
2. How will Selvam feel?
3. Maybe god knows you want this badly, and that you have trained ultra hard, so this is his way of telling you to rest.

I stopped, and soon it was training time. I wanted to go home seeing them train. Seriously, I just want to go home. It hurts seeing them doing the routine all over again, changes here and there BECAUSE OF ME. BECAUSE OF ME BECAUSE OF ME BECAUSE OF MY STUPID FOOT. Fortunately, I had my iphone. I gamed for the whole approximately 3 hours? I remember telling myself that the team needs support at about 9pm, and i must stand strong for myself, for them. More stunts not hitting and I feel worse.
I felt better after a night's sleep. I was ready to be legacy's supporter. It's not 16 men doing the routine. It's just 1 team. My heart was with this team. And I shall go all the way with it.
PS: Just that sometimes I feel left out); Like Jessie not writing the card for me post-skm. HOW COME I DONT HAVE! )';

Despite having difficulties walking, I went to training after work, all trainings without fail. OK, maybe not the last 2 cos I was taking care of Na-saow and BU ma. No choice.

1st day of SKM. The spirit of legacy was there. I bet most went home with no regrets. But hey, that was only a performance. Everything was near perfect. Everybody went home happy. But sue hyperventilated. And it was for hours. . . . . . .
2nd day of SKM. Sue said she was fine, but everybody had their reservations to her 'fine'. Last minute changes to the routine still. I didnt get to see it. Even for the dry run, it wasnt good. The last thing I said during the whoosh was to ask them to leave those mats once again with no regrets. Did they?

How should I put it? Part of me, of course never never never ever wanted this to happen. But hey, this whole SKM thing made us learn truckloads. Picking up damn full of shits along the way. Let me see, what are the other shits? Jessie sprained her ankle after stepping on Andra's foot, Citra working, Jay's retardedly dislocated hand, Selvam, Andra in camp, Karen's sprained ankle after btoss LOF which her leg landed on Andra's chest..etc etc. Dont you think after all this, legacy grew stronger? Cos we picked up whatever shit and just carried on. Neither of us gave up. Also, gary was trying to blend into legacy. And because he was involved in the routine, it was so much easier for us to mingle and fuse together. There, we brought in a competitive new member. (;

1 team everybody want to see, not how big or how small or the numbers we have. We'll coalesce as one and stand strong for each other.