i want..

i feel so paranoid now. argh. i really duno wad i want. no, i know what i want; i know my stand. but i duno if what i'm doing is right.

it seems lyk i'm pushing u. & i'm afraid, really afraid tt if i pushed t hard, i will just push u away. & poof*, mayb, just mayb, u will b gone. of cos, i dont want tt t happen. & tt explains my paranoidism. it seems easy. but it's not. it's not easy f me, neither u. it sounds easy, just t change back t wad u have been all along. but i know, it isnt. but i hope, no i want YOU back. i want e same old u; am i asking too much?

those little thgs tt u'll say, just t make me happy

e little gestures tt u'll made, just t c me smile.

e little surprises tt u'll give, just t add more spice.

& e little outings tt u suggest/make, just t add more colours.

these r e thgs u use t do, & yes, i'm yearning f them right now, no doubt. do i sound lyk a desperate-shitty freak?

it's only a day i've not been f training bt i'm ardy missing cy's chatty-ness, cheryl's craziness, huimin's bhb, andrea's hell-ness, wenmin's rubbish & joy's nonsense. & e list keeps going. training tml, till den(: !