hey, you know wad? you got urself some hated friends. actually i understand tt you've got more than just us. & now..i finally realise why. you're just spoiling ur own name. ironically, aft so many yrs, you failed to realise that. i may not know you for that long, but looking at things way are now, & wad you have told me before, i've understood e reasons why your friends left you. dont you find that your circle of friends are getting smaller? it's either you are insensitive so you dont feel it, or you sense it but just trying to be ignorant. dont you find yourself pathetic? hey, i've been a very nice friend. i spoke up for you when things worsen. i've tolerated all of your attitude, i've took in your nonsense. & yes i admit i spoke bad behind you but i needed to release. & after all the releasing, i was fine & went smooth with you again. but look now what are you doing behind my back? i'm not confronting you cos i respect you. & i know, even after confronting, you'll still be the same. or maybe even worse. you might stab countless of knieves on me.
enough of you.
was conferencing til ben called me t meet him at 85 f chit-chatting session. i was at boiling pt tt day. he drove straight under my blk & drove me t 85. i know that's lame, but 85 also got carpark ma. his car is so super nice - honda integra. red some more!! but his driving reminds me of my dad's. if i ate a little too much, everythg will come out from my stomach. thanks ben for making my vday better.
met a pervert ytd opp the prata shop. fortunately, i saw zuoxin at the prata shop before we left. so i called him & he came to rescue! zuoxin save the day!! -.- i miss 840 people.
met e5 at kembagan mrt. as usual, many were late(including me). my class was so famous for late comers lar. ok, not many..but a handful? reached mdm tey's hse ard 3plus when we mt at 2pm. hah! was supposed to go to dannywong's hse but he text me 2.45am in the morining saying that he cant make it. :/ anyway, i'm glad we're going tml. gahh....... saddest part is tt many cant turn up.
i guess she's better, at least in your own eyes. & yes, my heart's bleeding. it's bleeding like it never did. i'm glad i was letting go. i'm glad i did see something happening between the both of you. i'm glad i'd trusted my sixth sense.
but sometimes i'm thinking if...did it happened bcos i said so? did it happened bcos i gave you the chance? was i the one who cause the break-up?
& yes, i guess so. i was so demanding. i was so threatening. i was too aggressive. I HAVE NEVER BEEN A GOOD GIRLFRIEND. I SUCK. i......scared you away?
whatever it is, i regret trusting you. but i dont regret spending that 16 months 8 days with you. contradicting? i love you, & this love ends today.
i promise not to think abt anythg anymore. i promise myself not to pretend that everything was invinsible. i promise not to trust anyone again. i promise not to use other people as you; bcos you are you. i promise to let go.
i wish you all the best.
i shld have gone t zouk just now. i shld have drank & dance it all away. if shld have could change something, i hope i wasnt even born. i wish i was dead.
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